The Mystical Cullen Diaries!
by onpermanenthaitus
Summary: Mwhahaha the cullens get online diaries! rated T because I have recently found out it is against my very being to write a child appropriate story, there is some swearing and suggestive themes. you've been warned... R and R please
1. Edward Falls

**I'm back! Heres a new story!**

**In my poll The Mystical Cullen Diaries had a lead (its not to late to vote though!) so I decided to start it today in honor of Jackson Rathbone's b-day! I would have posted chapter for Oh the Irony but its still not quite finished (don't worry its almost there) **

**Disclaimer: I am all out of creative ways to say I do not own it**

**By the way most of this is completely random**

**On with chapter 1**

Jasper's Diary

Public

1:43 pm

Lmao, today I made Carlisle fall in love with Edward... Again!

Haha, suckers

Jasper

--------------------------------

Edward

Response to Jasper's Diary

1:49 pm

That was cruel and unusual punishment Jasper!

He practically crawled on my lap!

--------------------------------

Carlisle

Response to Jasper's Diary

1:50 pm

Excuse me! I had no choice. I was just casually watching television then the urge hit me to kiss you... wait no! Thats not what I meant!

--------------------------------

Edward

Response to Jasper's Diary

1:52 pm

Creeper!

---------------------------------------------

Edward's Diary

Public

2:00 pm

Damnit! I picked Bella up and tried to jump out the window but somebody shut it... then we kinda fell to the ground. she landed on me but I think she's got a broken wrist...

Oops.

Edward

p.s. I am so glad this has a private setting, nobody needs to know about this...

---------------------------------

Bella

Response to Edward's Diary

2:05pm

Edward your entry is set to public...

my wrist _is _broken tyvm

-frowney face-

---------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Edward's Diary

2:06pm

Ahahahahahahahaha!

Edward fall down go boom!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I am so funny

-------------------------------

Edward

Response to Edward's Diary

2:07 pm

Okay I have to watch for that private/public button but now that I assume you all know, I would like to know, who shut the windows!?

--------------------------------

Esme

Response to Edward's Diary

2:10pm

I suppose its possible that I forgot to open them after I was done cleaning...

Sorry!

---------------------------------------------

Esme's Diary

Private

6:47 am

I am really really bored. Carlisle is out hunting to I have nothing to do :(

Hmm, I could always ground someone. Now... where's Edward?

----------------------------------

Edward's Diary

Public

6:52 am

Esme why am I grounded? You didn't even give me a valid reason!

----------------------------------

Esme

Response to Edward's Diary

6:53 am

Yes I did

----------------------------------

Edward

Resonse to Edward's Diary

6:56 am

Breathing your _air _is not a valid reason

-grumbles-

--------------------------------

Alice's Diary

Private

1:23 pm

Lmao in about 3 minutes Edward will be picking his nose

mwhahahaha

I'm going to go get my camcorder

-------------------------------------

Edward's Diary

Public

1:29 pm

I swear! I was not picking my nose! It was itchy, it's not my fault!

-------------------------------------

Bella

Response to Edward's Diary

1:35 pm

Vampire's can itch?

-------------------------------------

Edward

Response to Edward's Diary

1:37 pm

not helping...

**~~~~Slight Breaking Dawn Spoilers Ahead!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Renesmee's Diary

Public

4:01 pm

Dear Diary, Mommy and Daddy both think I need to learn about the 'appropriate' things to show people but I already know that stuff! it was an accident! I mean c'mon you accidentally show your parents making love once and suddenly your America's most wanted. Dad's making me show him exactly what i'm gonna show the other person first AND i'm not allowed to show people things when he's not around. Come on! I'm sure Jacob will get over it it was one person!

-----------------------------------

Edward

Response to Renesmee's Diary

4:20 pm

But Nessie, if you showed Jacob that means that the second he turns to a wolf all of the pack gets to see! Thats why your in trouble, i'm sure Sam or Embry or someone does not want to see that

---------------------------------

Renesmee

Response to Renesmee's Diary

4:23 pm

_All _of them will see?

oops.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

**So? how was it? please lemme know. **

**I am fresh out of idea's so if you got an idea PM it to me and I **_**will**_** put it in ;)**

**The concluding chapter to Oh the Irony will be up soon**

**please review and dont forget to vote in my poll!**


	2. What have I done?

**Sweet, Chapter 2 of the Mystical Cullen Diaries. I am thrilled at the the number of hits this story has recieved over a few days, I'm not even going to complain about the sad amount of reviews But this story is not going to happen without your help, I need idea's so please give me some if you could.**

**I figure if I do not get enough idea's i'll write a few chapters then start working on the story with the second highest amount of votes so please vote, the poll will only be up for a few more days**

**WARNING!!!!!!!!! This chapter contains loads of Breaking Dawn spoilers so if you havn't read dont read this...**

**Discliamer: I will own it when pigs fly... Hey whats that over there -points- oh never mind thats just superman**

**Okay the long authors note if finally finished -cheers- **

**Chapter 2**

Esme's Diary

Private

3:06 pm

Hmm everytime Emmett and Rosalie leave the house Edward and Alice scream 'Not Again!' Its quite peculiar...

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Edward's Diary

Public

11:11 am

Jacob was practically screaming his thoughts at me, they wern't pretty. He was thinking about how much he wants Renesmee to grow up so he can well... Anyways its not a pleasurable thing to hear and see... Ugh

Haha I finally figured out the whole Private/Public button press it once for private and twice for public

heehee -clickclickclickclick-

----------------------------------

Renesmee

Response to Edward's Diary

12:34 pm

Daddy? What does Jacob want to do to me? I don't really understand what you're trying to say...

-----------------------------------

Edward

Response to Edward's Diary

12:38 pm

Crap, I guess I probably should have made sure it wasn't set to public...

-----------------------------------

Bella

Response to Edward's Diary

12:41 pm

Renesmee honey, Daddy was just writing about what Jacob was thinking... It really has nothing to do with you, he accidentally wrote Renesmee when really he meant... Esme he just accidentally put Renee in front of it...

-----------------------------------

Esme

Response to Edward's Diary

12:42 pm

EXCUSE ME???? _What _does Jacob want to do to me? That's just sickeningly wrong!

-----------------------------------

Bella

Response to Edward's Diary

12:49 pm

Sorry Esme, I meant to say that he forgot to put a space in between Renee and Esme... which is also wrong. I am so confused...

-----------------------------------

Edward

Response to Edward's Diary

12:59 pm

Dear God, What have I done...

------------------------------------

Esme

Response to Edward's Diary

1:21 pm

There is no way I am letting a _dog _come near me like that, Besides I'm married

hmmm I wonder what Carlisle would do...

------------------------------------

Edward

Response to Edward's Diary

1:21 pm

Esme! Please do _not _think like that, its bad enough having to read Emmett's thoughts...

------------------------------------

Renesmee

Response to Edward's Diary

2:30 pm

Mommy, I'm scared. Jacob's my best buddy, he would never do anything to hurt grandma or anything would he?

-------------------------------------

Bella

Response to Edward's Diary

2:43

Of course not baby...

On a different subject... how's everybody doing?

--------------------------------------

Edward

Response to Edward's Diary

2:44

I'm all right and if Jacob would stop thinking such unpleasent thoughts... Ah MY EYES! Its horrible, more horrible then Emmett and Rosalie because its my daughter! Wheres the bleach!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**(Yea I know, i'm retarded, don't worry this isn't the first time anyone's ever thought that... okay well on with the story)**

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Jasper's Diary

Private

4:27 am

Edward is a grouch ( not that we didn't already know that ) He didn't think it was funny when I came home with a few containers of grizzly blood then put them and Bella into a shopping cart, brought it to the living room and said dinner is served... Emmett laughed like a sick hyena but nooo Edward is just a big flippen party pooper who can't have flippen good time... he stole my Ipod too -frowney face-

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Bella's Diary

Public

8:56 pm

Jasper? do you know what I just realized? You would make the best therapist ever!

-------------------------------------

Jasper

Response to Bella's Diary

9:12 pm

haha yea I've gotten that before... But I actually have a terrible patience and I would probably be all

'COME ON! JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL YOUR PROBLEM IS ALREADY!'

so yea...

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Emmett's Diary

Public

1:23 pm

I'm borrrrred =(

--------------------------------------

Edward

Response to Emmett's Diary

1:56 pm

Suck it up and find something to do

---------------------------------------

Edward

Response to Emmett's Diary

2:31 pm

Emmett wtf do you think your doing with Bella?!?!?!?!?!?! Put her down before I rip your arms off! too late you lose -gets up-

----------------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

2:35 pm

Edwarddf vc an ii hjaVE my aernmsad back noiow? typiun gh wiutrgh mny fgacxe is hardf -poutssa-

**(Edward can I have my arms back now? Typing with my face is hard -pouts-)**

-----------------------------------------

Edward

Response to Emmett's Diary

2:36

No.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

**Well thats me making do with the little idea's I have.. please PM or review idea's to me and while your doing that tell me, what do you think of Robert Pattinson's new haircut? Personally I think its horrendus... **

**Oh yea, my poll is going to be closed in a few days so vote while you can!!!**

**I'd like to thank my friend Jacobs-Girl-64 for all her idea's (even though a couple may have been unintentional...)**

**p.s. sorry its a little late but Happy Christkwanzhaunikdon everybody!**


	3. chAtzq3ak!

**Hey peoples... sorry this is such a lame chapter but i still havn't gotten any idea's from you -glares-...jk! I couldn't glare at you people your reviews make my happyful!**

**Disclaimer: Do I have to put one of these every chapter or can I just say "I don't own it now, nor will I ever" and get get it over with?**

**Ok so this one's a little different, lets just say that Emmett went on a rampage and the electricity went out shall we?**

**({[PLZ READ! just so you know, 3 is E, 0 is o, 1 is l, ! is i q is p z is s and I suppose that means s is z]})**

**(sorry its so confuzing, my origional plan didn't work because the symbols didn't show up... =[ )**

**p.s. Imma go the old fashioned way and just put everybodys names beside what they write...**

**K enjoy!**

Bella: Edward, since Emmett knocked out the power do you wanna write notes??

Edward: Umm, Ok...

Emmett: ME TOO!!!

Edward: Joy, Emmett's here now we can get annoyed to whatever happens after this...

Emmett: You're just jelous of my proness

Edward: Emmett... proness isn't a word

Emmett: Its chatspeak tyvm

Edward: Chatspeak? tyvm?

Bella: Edward! Get with the times you old fart!

Edward: Excuse me? -smirks-

Bella: Hehheh oops...

Emmett: Bella I got an idea and Edward will never know 'cause i'm blocking my thoughts -mwhahahaha evil laugh-

Bella: Brilliant!

Edward: Umm I'm right here!

Emmett: -winks-

Bella: -Laughs evilly-

Edward: But Bella, you didn't laugh

Bella: -Rolls eyes at Edward's dim-wittedness-

Edward: Hey! I resent that and can you two stop talking with those dashes now please and thank you...

Emmett: 0f c0rz3 3dd!3

Bella: y3A wHAT h3 sA!d

Edward: Uhh what?

Emmett: y0u h3Ard m3h

Edward: Emmett shut up already! Do you have any idea how annoying that is?!

Emmett: n0p3

Edward: !t !z m0r3 ANn0y!ng th3n h311

Bella: hAhA v3ry funny 3dwArd0 b3 z3r!0uz

Edward: n0 ! Am m0r3 th3n z3r!0us AnD mY nAm3 !sn't 3dwArd0, !t's 3dwArd

Emmett: WhAt 3v3r y0u sAy 3dd!3-k!nz

Bella: hAhA 3dd!3-quzz n_n

Emmett: -mwhAhAhAhA, gr!nz-

Edward: NOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Bella: -h3hh3hh3h-

Edward: asjuhaisdfjbhsjiFIbvxsvf----------

Jasper: Umm seing as he's my brother I suppose I should ask why Edward is cowering in a corner with his head between his knees

Emmett: chAtzq3Ak

Jasper: What?

Bella: chAtzq3ak

Jasper: What?

Emmett: chAtzq3ak

Jasper: What?

Bella: chAtzq3ak

Jasper: Chatspeak?

Bella: -nods- chAtzq3ak

Jasper: Chatspeak?

Bella: chAtzq3ak

Jasper: chAtzq3ak?

Bella: -claps- chAtzq3ak

Emmett: -also nods- chAtzpeak

Alice: PUMPERNICKEL!

Emmett: Wtf

Bella: Wtf

Jasper: Wtf

Alice: Wtf?

Bella: -nods again- Wtf

Alice: -claps- Wtf!!!!!!!!

Emmett: chAtzq3ak dr!vez 3dwArd crAsy

Bella: !t'z fuNn t00

Alice: ! c

Jasper: Ar3 w3 g0!ng t0 tAlk l!k3 th!z f0r A l0ng t!m3?

Emmett: h3ll y3s

Bella: s0 whAt d0 y0u guyz cAll th3 3!gth c0l0ur AgA!n? ! f0rg3t...

Alice: w3 cAll !t mAr!d33n, And !'m pr3tty sur3 vAmp!r3s d0n't f0rg3t...

Emmett: lulz chAtzq3ak !'z AmAs!ng

Edward: IT'S LIKE A DISEASE!!!!!!! -dives behind couch-

Jasper: cAn y0u sAy " m3l0drAmAt!c"?

Bella: m3l0drAmAt!c -grins-

Jasper: -stares in disbelief-

Bella: 00pz!3 r3t0r!cAl th!ng?

Alice: n0 b3llA w3'r3 juzt l00k!ng At th3 d!n0sAur b3h!nd y0u

-_Carlisle walks in room through doorway behind Bella and comes to see what everyone is doing-_

Emmett: OMC hAhAhAhAhAhA l00k b3h!nd y0u

Alices: -turnes- y!p3sn

Carlisle: Gee Thanks Alice, I appriciate the comment... Um may I ask what all the weird writing is about?

Emmett: -Grins proudly- chAtzq3ak

Carlisle: Excuse me?

Emmett: chAtzq3ak

Carlisle: Umm wh-

Alice: w3've b33n thr0ugh th!z Alr3Ady p30pl3

Carlisle: ok then... you have fun with that...

_-walks away creeped out-_

Edward: That was pretty funny, his thoughts were hilarious

Alice: 3dwArd, !f y0u cAn't chAtzq3ak th3n GTF0

Edward: -sobs and runs to Carlisle- happy?

Jasper: n0, 3dwArd y0u'r3 zuch A d0wn3r

Emmett: hA 3dwArd0'z d3pr3zzed... 3m0 fAc3

Edward: -sobs- AzzfAc3!!!....happy?

Bella: 3dwArd, y0u ru!n3d !t... !t wAs 0k unt!l th3 3nd

Edward: This is insane, i'm leaving!!!

-_gets up-_

Bella: y3s -cheers-

Alice: -Dances-

Emmett: d!ng d0ng th3 w!tch nAm3d 3dwArd0 !z d3Ad

Edward: I Didn't even leave yet you numbnuts!

Jasper: h3hh3hh3h... ! kn0w -smirks-

Emmett: juzt l3Av3 Alr3Ady 3dwArd0

Edward: MY. NAME IS NOT EDWARDO!!!!!

Bella: 3dwArd-- um.. 3dwArd y0u PunCtur3d the pAp3r -tears-

Emmett: b3llA, y0u'r3 A vAmp!r3, y0u cAn't cry... 0r t3Ar f0r thAt mAtt3r

Bella: y0u ru!n3d !t, th3 m0m3nt ! m3An

Edward: whatever, i'm leaving now, byebye love... byebye jerkwads

_-gets up and stomps away, muttering naughty words-_

Jasper: thAt wAz funn cAn w3 d0 m0r3???

Emmett: h3ck y3s !'ll g0 g3t r0z3

_-gets up and skips to bedroom but passes Edwards room first-_

_"Emo face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_"STFU! Thats Jasper you dumdum head!"_

_-Emmett skips happily back into the room followed by Rose, who looks very confuzzled-_

Emmett: !'m bAAAAck -sings-

Rosealie: Does someone care to tell me why Emmett broke down my door and dragged me down the stairs?

Emmett: chAtzq3Ak

Rosalie: umm... is that what Edward was complaining about?

Alice: -warily- y3zzz...

Rosealie: sweet i'm in, how do I chatspeak?

Jasper: chAtzq3ak.. 3mm3tt, g0 tHrU th3 bAz!cz

Emmett: 0kAy, All y0u hAve t0 d0 !s...

_-and he explains..yadayadayada-_

Rosealie: s0 y0ur sur3 th!z Ann0yz 3dwArd?

Emmett: p0z!t!v3, but b3 zur3 t0 cAll h!m 3dwArd0

Rosalie: 0k...

Alice: 0mc ! juzt g0t th3 b3zt !d3A 3v3r

**Dun dun dun!!!!!!! ha, what now brown cow?!**

**sorry this chpt is umm, stupid but once again no one gave me ideas and, I think the fact that I havn't slept since -counts on fingers- the 28th... thats,holy crap! 9 days... damned insomnia**

**1) Reveiw!!!**

**2) vote in my poll for what story I should focus on/write next.... u can pick two =]**

**kthxbye**


	4. chatzq3Ak dies

**Mmkay, so apparently some people had some touble with the last chapter... -coughbrynnandraynacough- so imma go through it verrrrry slowly**

**! is an i (see the resemblence?)**

**all A's are capitlized**

**3 is an E (they also look alike...)**

**0 is an o (they look alike too...)**

**q is a p (there arn't very many words with q so I decided to use that....)**

**Z is an S and S is a Z (I couldn't think of anything else...)**

**1 is a L (like I said, nothing else I could do with that...)**

**Happy now? If not you can write it on a peice of paper and use that...**

**On another note thanks so much for all the reviews you guys have given me!**

**Disclaimer: Check the last chapter**

**K on with the chapter =]**

_Alice: 0mc ! juzt g0t th3 b3zt !d3A 3v3r_

_-everyone leans in although its pointless-_

Bella: t3ll uz A1!c3

Alice: hmMmM !dk...

Emmett: p1sp1sp1sp1sp1sp1sp1s1sp1sp1sp1s

Alice: 0k f!n3, h3r3z th3 q1An...

_-in Edward's room-_

Ha! they think they can run my away? well no way. I know exactly what I'm going to do, mwhahahaha... o.m.c. did I just mwhahahaha? ew. I need to stay away from Emmett... so i'll just get some of Rosalie's tools and go to the basement and it will be perfect...

_-twenty seconds later-_

hmm, there are a few more wires then I had expected... oh well how hard can it be to hook up an electricity generator.

_-3 seconds later-_

"Edward!!!! Why is the basement smoking?!" Esme yelled

"Uhh no reason..."

"Well.. okay then!" she sang and I heard her walk back into the kitchen

Okay, I think I got it right, i'll go check...

_-in Edward's room again-_

... and all I have to do is add this wire and, perfect! my laptops on. now what was I going to do with it again? oh yea I was going to download a few things

_-back in the living room-_

Alice: A1r!ght zcr3w th3 0th3r th!ng... 3dwArd0'z z3tt!ng uq A b3tt3r q1An f0r uz

Bella: whAtz h3 d0!ng?

Alice: y0u'11 z33

_-gets up and grabs laptop-_

Alice: Can we stop this now? I'll make up for it I promise

Jasper: Ok fine...

Bella: Yea sure why not

Emmett: n0000000000000000000000

Jasper: shut up Emmett

Emmett: -sniffles- wHy????

Bella: Cause its annoying

Emmett: y0u'r3 A11 juzt j3l0uz

Jasper: ...

Alice: ...

Bella: ...

Emmett: y0u kn0w y0u Ar3

Bella: ...

Alice: ...

Jasper: this is rediculous -leaves-

Alice: I'm with Jasper on this one -leaves also-

Bella: ummm bye! -leaves also also-

Emmett: n0w !'m A11 A10n3 =(

Emmett: tA1k!ng t0 myz31f

Emmett: 0n A p3!ce 0f pAp3r

Emmett: i'm too depressed to talk in chatspeak... =(

Emmett: stupid brother and sisters and wife...

_-gets up to find everyone else-_

**Yea super short chapter but i'm writing the next chapter as soon as i'm done posting this which will happen after I save this which will happen when I finish this authors note.**

**Please review and vote in my poll =)**

**Next chapter will be up ASAP!!!!**


	5. Balogna!

**Ok I told you all, since the last chapter was short I would post this one reletivly quickly.**

**Discliamer: I don't own twilight or msn**

**Thanks to my bff Brynn who was joking around on msn with me and letting me steal something for Emmett's name. Happy now?**

**K so, here it is**

_Alicelovesshopping has signed on_

_EmotionManipulator05 has sined on_

_Mrs Bella Cullen has signed on_

Alicelovesshopping says: It worked!!

EmotionManipulator05 says: This is pretty cool, what is it?

Alicelovesshopping says: Its called msn or something...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Umm where's Emmett?

Alicelovesshopping says: I think he's still trying to make his screen name...

_EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed in_

_Alicelovesshopping has added EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest into the conversation _

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: HII!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Emmett! What the heck is with your name?!

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Yea, I suppose I should have made it Edward and Bella sittin in a tree, discussing the national debt...

EmotionManipulator05 says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA -falls off couch-

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Well at least my name doesn't abbreviate the word EMOS! Ha!

Alicelovesshopping says: OMC IT DOES! rotfl

EmotionManipulator05 says: I dont see it...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: [E]motion[M]anipulator[0][5]

EmotionManipulator05 says: crap...I can see it now... =(

Alicelovesshopping says: Ha! Edward's going to sign on in 5 minutes... if your going to change it I recommend doing it now...

EmotionManipulator05 says: Ok i'll do that now

Alicelovesshopping: Oops I hate split second decisions...

_DarkAngel333 has signed on_

EmotionManipulator05 says: ok, NOBODY add him to the..

_EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest has added DarkAngel333 into the conversation_

EmotionManipulator says: F U Emmett

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: -grins widely-

DarkAngel333 says: Uhh Emmett? What is with your screen name? Its kinda...

DarkAngel333 says: And Jasper? Your name abbrieviates the word Emos...

EmotionManipulator05 says: I know, I know! Now shut up imma go change it

_EmotionManipulator05 has signed out_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Whats with your name Edward?

DarkAngel333 says: I couldn't think of a good screen name so I used my Runescape name then added some numbers

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Runescape? wtf Edward, and why 333?

DarkAngel333 says: -shrugs- I'm only Half evil...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: !!!

Alicelovesshopping says: !!!

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Thats retarded Edward...

DarkAngel333 says: Look who's talking, I find your name offensive by the way. At least mine's cool...

Everyone but Edward and Jasper: HAHAHAHAHAHA! your retarded Edward

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed in_

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: happy now?

DarkAngel333says: No.

Alicelovesshopping says: Ok people you know what to do...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: yep! -grins-

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Count us in Alice!

Alicelovesshopping says : 3!

DarkAngel333 says: Umm what are you counting us in for

Alicelovesshooping says: 2!

DarkAngel333 says: Please tell me...

Alicelovesshopping says: 1!

DarkAngel333 says: I'm Scared!

Alicelovesshopping says: NOW!

_-silence... or so it seems-_

DarkAngel333 says: OMC NOO! STOP IT!

_-more silence-_

DarkAngel333 says: BELLA! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! STOP GUYS I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

_-cricket does whatever crickets do-_

DarkAngel333 says: THIS IS SO HORRIBLE! NOW I HAVE TO GO TO JASPER'S EMO CORNER...I APPRICIATE THAT!

_DarkAnge__l333 has signed out_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: I can't believe that worked

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Me neither...

Alicelovesshopping says: It was my idea, of course it would work. I saw this would happen....

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: yea yea blahblahblah, so what was and/or is Edward going to do to us?

Alicelovesshopping says: I dunno, he keeps changing his mind.

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: OWWW WTF! I JUST GOT HIT IN THE FACE WITH A SLICE OF BALOGNA!

Alicelovesshopping says: ...

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: AND IT STINKS!

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: .HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKER!

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: OWW!!! ME TOO! IT DOES STINK!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: eww... thats just, OH MAI GAWD! erdwatrdf stopo IK xcant typeehxshugchyisdhgtshduinhtgdssjblj kdgjivs

Alicelovesshopping says: umm i'm kind of scared now, Jasper and Emmett got pelted with gross 'meat' -if u can call it that...- and Bella is being tickled to death...ok he stopped that... _why _is he staring at Jasper like that?

Alicelovesshopping says: ICKERS! Edward!!!!! WHY?!?!?!?!?!? WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO DO THAT?!?!?!?!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: What did he do?

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: yea, what did he do?

Alicelovesshopping says: He was planning on locking Jasper in his closet and ripping his clothes off.... **(heeheeBrynn...)**

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: 0.o Imma go hide now...

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed out_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: That is sooo wrong... -shudders- Why?

Alicelovesshopping says: I _hope _it was to get back at me... if not I am officially grossed out

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Does that mean Edward's gay? Cause if it does Jasper and you owe me 100 bucks

Mrs Bella Cullen says: What?

Alicelovesshopping says: -sigh- A few years before you were even born we had our suspicions that Edward might be gay, so we made a bet -Emmett Jasper and I- to see if he would ever show intrest in either men or woman. SO of course, when he met you Emmett had to fork over 50 to each of us... thats about it.

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Lmao thats pretty funny!

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: hahahahaha no.

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: I needed that money for video games

Mrs Bella Cullen says: But arn't you guys loaded?

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Well yea but Carlisle only gave us a set amount each month...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: oooh that must have been hard on you Alice

Alicelovesshopping says: Actually it wasn't that bad, Jasper gave me half of his so it was alllllll good

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Jasper gave you half of his?!?!?!?!? thats not fair!

Aliceloveshopping says: Life isn't fair Emmett

Mrs Bella Cullen says: This is boring... wanna do something?

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: YES!

Alicelovesshopping says: ok...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Let's go bug Edward!

EdwardandBellasittininaTree, f-u-c...youknowtherest says: SWEETNESS!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

**Ok so another chapter done, was it ok? Lemme know**

**~Still in desperate need of idea's though... I have some that will probably get a few chapters but dont hesitate to gove me idea's or random funny quotes that i can read, because those give me inspiration too!**

**K please review and byebye**


	6. Story Time

**Ok sorry it took so long but I was busy making a dancing stickman video... It took me three hours and over 400 slides to get 45 seconds into the song..... and studying for exams**

**Enough ranting though, I would love to thank everyone who has reveiwed, favorited or subscribed to this story**

**This chapter is dedicated to Animelove101 for her awsome idea ;)**

**Disclaimer: See chapter 3... :}**

**p.s Jasper's song is to kind of well I can't exactly pick the tune but mostly its kind of to the tune of "we're off to see the wizard" [which I also do not own] and it kind of changes so just imagine it however you want... [as long as its happy and peppy ;)]**

**p.s.s. I hope Jasper's song doesn't offend anybody either... if it does just lemme know...**

Jasper's Diary

Private

11:47 am

A Wonderful Day

By Jasper W. Hale

Oohhhhhhhh

Iiiittttssss

Aaaaaa...

Wonderful day to be emo

theres so many things you can doooo

There's cutting, and crying, and pain and dying

but you havn't got a cluuuuuue

'Cause it's a wonderful day to be emo

what elsearewe gonna dooooo?

When life is hard and stupid and dumb

And bad for me and youuu

It's a wonderful day to be emo

How else should we spend our days?

Should we sit in the dark,

caused by a greenish haze?

'Cause,

Its a wonderful day to be...

Its a wonderful day to be...

Its a wonderful day to be...

Eeeemmmmoooo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o!

Amazing right?! I know, I know, I totally know n_n

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jasper's Diary

Private

8:35 am

-sighs- everyone has left me alone again, this gives me inspiration...

Here I am, alone and abondoned

Unloved and uncared for

No one loves me [well maybe Alice...] they all loath me

Life is cruel and Hard

No one cares or understands

'Tis the story of my life

-sobs-

wow that was deep

I should become a poet!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bella's Diary

Public

9:03 pm

Umm Emmett, can I ask you something?

--------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Bella's Diary

9:09 pm

Didn't give me much of a choice there did ya?

--------------------------------

Bella

Response to Bella's Diary

9:10 pm

You know what I mean

---------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Bella's Diary

9:12 pm

Ok fine, shoot.

----------------------------------

Bella

Response to Bella's Diary

9:15 pm

Ok so Alice just told me that you went on a date with a guy before, did you actually?

----------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Bella's Diary

9:16 pm

mmaayybbee

I'll tell you if you tell me something,

What was the worst thing you remember doing when Edward left OTHER then the stuff we already know

----------------------------------

Bella

Respose to Bella's Diary

9:18 pm

-sighs deeply- fine, you go first

---------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Bella's Diary

9:19 pm

Sweet ok so!

Once apon a time a young man and woman had a baby, he was sooooo good looking they called him Emmett. Emmett was an amazing child, so amazing that everyone wanted him. He had thick dark brown curly hair, blue eyes and dimples, dont forget the dimples.

One day the adorable Emmett turned 20 and went walking in the forest but a big mean bear came and tried to gobble him up but then a beautiful vampire came and saved him by bringing him home and changing him into a big strong overly handsome vampire. Who went and kicked the big mean bears ass! -WOOO GO EMMETT!!-

Ok so a few years later a little Pixie named Alice and her emo bf named Jasper came and invaded, Edward was hunting with me at the time and when we got back, boy were we surprised. Jasper scared us alot and now I know he knew we felt that and thats how the emo corner was made, he spent all his time there when he wasn't complaining about our diet or 'with' Alice. -ick!-

So a few years after that Me and Jazzy became tight like this -crosses fingers- and one day we made a bet, to see whoever could eat the most banana's -teehee they look like you know whats... ;)- ... I kinda lost because started throwing up halfway through it.

That meanie Jasper dared me to go flirt with a guy and see if he will date me then do whatever he wants all night. I did it, obviously, because I am the great Emmett!!!! And I never back down! So I went to the mall and waited in the food court for someone, Jasper was there to let me know if anyone actually showed interest... of course my luck was that it was like 40 woman, an old man and this guy prolly around 17 or 18. I chose him. so I went and I did my thing and asked him to dinner.

That night he told my his name was Sid and he thought I could be "the one". -thats icky yucky poo-poo 'cause I love Rose...- and he invited me back to his house, I was gonna say no but Alice decided to butt in and tell the meanie faced Jasper and he called me, and made me go. so I went and when I got to his house he locked the door, .Scaryyyyy! But then I remembered I was a vampire and a locked door couldn't stop me from escaping. So then he lead me down the hallway and into what I guessed was a living room.

After a few minutes of standing in a slightly awkward silence while he gazed -yes gazed!- lovingly at me, I sat down on the seat nearest to me, an overly wide couch.

Thats when things started getting worse, I remember him saying 'good choice' and sitting down next to me -much to close I might add-. He grabbed my hand and told me he was ready, I was in shock. So shocked I didn't really notice him take off his shirt, actually I didn't notice anything until I heard his belt buckle hit the floor. I snapped my head up -bad idea- and I found myself eye level with his tighty whities -which left little for imagination might I say...-

He then leaned over me, and reached for the buttons on my shirt. My reflexes finally kicked in and I jumped halfway accross the room. Sid cocked his head sideways, "whats wrong Emmie?" he had said I just kind of picked up my stuff and left...

We moved three days later.

The End!!!!!!

Amazing oui?

----------------------------------

Bella

Response to Bella's Diary

9:25 pm

Uhh sure, well Imma go now, Renesmee needs to go to bed

----------------------------------

Emmett

Respose to Bella's Diary

9:26 pm

Then when you get back you can tell me what you did while Edward was gone... Your not getting out of this that easily!

----------------------------------

Bella

Response to Bella's Diary

9:28 pm

Crap =(

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

OK well imma post part two soon-ishh because I am (and have been) studying for exams

Just so you know, I have nothing against Gay, les or Emo people

Part two contains

-Bella's story (s)

-Any idea's I get from you pplzzzzzzz

-Maybe some other stuff

So! if you have a line or a vague idea of what you want to see in this just click the button thats located in this direction --- or maybe this one l...

K thx bye


	7. AUTHORS NOTE, PLEASE READ!

**Ok peoples! I had idea's I swear I did but then POOF! like magic they disappeared and now I dont know what to do!**

**So Basically I need you to give me your throughts on the worst things you want Bella to have done without really realizing it. Please help because without the idea's the next chapter will never happen!**

**Please help me out**

**Thanks so much**

**-Jasper Hale is My Luver**


	8. Story Time Part 2

**Thanks for the reveiws everybody!!! I got so many idea's and I know exactly what Bella's going to do -insert evil laughter here-**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing exept for my closet, its contents and everything under my bed... (XD BRYNN!!!! -falls off chair-) **

**ok ow, now that I have a concussion i'll write the chapter ;)**

Emmett's Diary

Public

10:02 pm

Bellaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm waaaiiitinggggggg

Tell me or I will tell Edward about your little 'performance' at that one bar...

--------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:06 pm

JASPER SWORE HE WOULDN'T TELL YOU ABOUT THE WHOLE 'ACTING LIKE A CHICKEN' THING! THAT LIAR!

Imma Kick his scrawny little tush!

--------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:07 pm

For the record he didn't actually tell me, I guessed and you confirmed it

XD sucker!

---------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:08 pm

dayum, I need to stop being so gullable...soo umm apparently tomorrow there is supposed to be a storm, a HUGE one... lets go see who wants to play

--------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:10 pm

Yea thats great, we'll get them all AFTER you tell me

Now go! no more stalling or I will tell Edward and Alice about _it_

--------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:11 pm

No! you dont have to do that, I'll tell you... everything But only if you promise to to hold any of this against me

-------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:12 pm

OK fine, now go, I'm not getting any younger over here...

-snickers-

-------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:17 pm

HaHa you're sooo funny Emmett...

Ok so like three days after you guys left, I found my super secret picture of Edward -that he had no clue I had- and I... blew it up and made a huge life size cardboard cut out then... I made out with it -looks ashamed-. And I made it stand in my room, so in the dark it looked like he _was _there, I would tell him-er it all my secrets and stuff...

Then like the day after that Newton took advantage of the fact that you guys were gone and my heart broken state and asked me out on a date, I went and halfway through he tried to drag me up to his room... I didn't exactly agree to that and so he got pissed and dropped me off at home.

I am ashamed to say but before I found the numbness that came along with Jacob, I tried everything to take away some of the emotional pain, I would cut before I went to bed and when I woke up... I even tried drinking myself silly to forget all about it...

Everythings' all fuzzy so I can't remember anything else

Happy now?

----------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:19 pm

o.0 you...you got shitfaced?!

HA! OMC THATS HILARIOUS!

---------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:21 pm

HaHa so funny -rolls eyes-

can we go now?

--------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:22 pm

No, one more thing...

I know you spent alot of time with the dog, but what did you guys do exactly?

--------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:25 pm

I'm not gonna get rid of you until I tell you am I?

--------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:26 pm

You got it

Now go

---------------------------------

Bella

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:27 pm

-sigh- FINE geeze

I went to his house everyday.

---------------------------------

Emmett

Response to Emmett's Diary

10:30 pm

What did you do at his house?

---------------------------------

Bella

Resonse to Emmett's Diary

10:25 pm

wow personal much...

we talked and did homework but mostly we were in his garage and I was watching him build stuff...

hmmm, why are we doing this when we can just go into chat? wouldn't that be so much easier. Here go log on and we'll set up a private chat.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed in_

_Alicelovesshopping has signed in_

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed in_

_DarkAngel333 has signed in_

_Ibedawulf has signed in_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has added Alicelovesshopping into the conversation_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has added DarkAngel333 into the conversation_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has added xXxGivemebloodxXx into the conversation_

_Alicelovesshopping has added Ibedawulf into the conversation_

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Ick who invited the dog?

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: How did you even get a hold of this program?

Ibedawulf says: Nessie showed me

Alicelovesshopping says: he's here just to watch

DarkAngel333 says: watch what?

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Bella's gonna tell us some more things of what she did with Jacob but its only supposed to be me

DarkAngel333 says: Then why exactly are we here?

Ibedawulf says: seriously Edward what is wrong with you? dont you have ever wondered what she did while you were gone? The things that still you dont know?

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Wow, nice grammer...

Alicelovesshopping says: CRAP SHE'S GOING TO LOG ON! EVERYONE GO TO SUPER STEALTH MODE

DarkAngel333 says: super what now?

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Just appear offline

_(everyone but Emmett appears to be offline)_

_Mrs Bella Cullen has signed in_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has added Mrs Bella Cullen into the conversation_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: ok so you want to know what else I did with Jacob?

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Duh!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: ok so basically every time I would come over we would go out to his garage, alone and I would sit in the seat of his car. And everytime I was there, he tried to make a move on me

_-muffled shreik from somewhere in the house-_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: uhmm was that Jacob?

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: pshhhh noooo -swats hand throught he air-

Mrs Bella Cullen says: ok then... Sometimes it almost worked... but that was after I realized I loved him and before he started acting like an ass when he changed or whatever happens when you turn into a wolf... shapshifter thing.

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: You _loved _him?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Yes Emmett, didn't you already know that? Why else do you think I dont mind him around? But before you get all little kid-ish and run off to Edward Imma tell you that Edward knows I love him the most (we're Married duh!) and I love Jacob more like a brother... or now I guess I should say son XD

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Ahhh... So give me juicy stuff, like what did you guys talk about??????????????????????????

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Personal much?

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Thats what you said earlier...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: I meant it then and I mean it now...

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Well you're supposed to be personal... sorta anyways its not like there are people other then us appearing offline and watching the whole conversation... no sir-ee. Alice and Edward and Jasper and the Dog arn't here.. no need to be suspicious or anything...

Mrs Bella Cullen says : surreeeeeee -grins- We talked about Edward, I was always complaining to Jacob about _all _the restrictions he had... Jacob showed me that life outside of those is so much better. I was the one who had to make rules for him, but that was only nessicary when he tried to proceed in what Mike attempted...

_-Gagging followed my thumping and more shreiking-_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: And as I said before, using your words, I got _'shitfaced'_ everynight.

_-audiable gasps throughout the house-_

_DarkAngel333 has signed in_

DarkAngel333 says: BELLA HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?!?!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT COULD HAVE DONE TO YOUR KIDNEYS? YOUR _BRAIN_?!?!? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: -smirks- That cutting hurt to much...

DarkAngel333 says: !!!!!!Jhzxjigdebsfhbvguijnhuasrhfcvnhjwu85tigju8rwy6yhgvdi85y478gh9werh5864hjyuwe8h56i8vjhbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Uhm Bella? He's going on a rampage

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Figures... Alice and Jasper you guys better go get him before he breaks something

Alicelovesshopping says: How did you know we were here? it looked like we are offline

Mrs Bella Cullen says: It says at the top of the screen you are in the conversation and appearing to be offline... and knowing Emmett you guys were just spying on the conversation. which you were

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Wow, your observant...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Not that it matters considering Emmett would've told you guys anyways

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: True... so um well imma go get Edward

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed off_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: he's such a dunce...

Alicelovesshopping says: Well now I dont need to worry about driving Edward crazy for today.... I'll just imagine that later

xXxGivemebloodxXx says:-tentatively- Imgaine what...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: We probably don't want to know

Alicelovesshopping says: No, You really don't

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

**-sighs- this chapter was a disappointment to me, I was too stressed from exams. I'm sorry if it sucks...**

**I tried to use as many idea's from you guys as I could. ANything not used in this chapter will probably be used in future chapters... Once again I really really appriciate all the responses I got n_n**

**Oh and incase you didn't get it _Ibedawulf_ is Jacob XD just use your imagination a little for the shreiking, its fun ;)**

**Thanks!!!**

**-Jasper Hale is My Luver**


	9. No, Emmett

**Two words people, writers block. I have it and it really sucks because I am secretly writing a story in my notebook (secretly of course) and I have writers block for that too -sad face-. So to help get rid of it I am going to write some completely random and stupid and obnoxious chapters that will probably not make any sense what so ever. You dont have to read (don't exactly recomend you do unless you like reading stupidity ;) ) but I would love if you did... =]**

**so.... read at your own risk the next chapter or two.**

**Disclaimer: Nope. Nothing.**

_Mrs Bella Cullen has signed on_

_DarkAngel333 has signed on_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Hey Edward

DarkAngel333 says: Hello Bella, My Love, My Life =]

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Hey Edward

DarkAngel333 says: Hello Bella, My Love, My Life =]

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Hey Edward

DarkAngel333 says: uhhh Hi...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Hey Edward

DarkAngel333 says: Love, why do you keep saying that?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Guess what

DarkAngel333 says: What?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Guess

DarkAngel333 says: Must I?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: yes! Guess

DarkAngel333 says: -sigh- Alice didn't take you shopping today?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Noooo, Guess again

DarkAngel333 says: Bella this is absurd please just tell me

Mrs Bella Cullen says: I'm wearing socks :o)

DarkAngel333 says: This is the fact that caused us to waste a good 20 minutes?!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Yesh

DarkAngel333 says: why do I even put up with this crap...?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: cause you love me?

DarkAngel333 says: fair enough... speaking of which...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Beat'cha there!!!

_Mrs Bella Cullen has signed off_

_DarkAngel333 has signed off_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed in_

_Alicelovesshopping has signed in_

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Hey Alice...?

Alicelovesshopping says: No Emmett

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: But...

Alicelovesshopping says: No Emmett!

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: But whyyyyyyy?

Alicelovesshopping says: cause I said so!

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: But why do you say so??

Alicelovesshopping says: Because that would NOT be funny!

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Imagine his face!

Alicelovesshopping says: Yea... that would be-- No Emmett!

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed in_

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Hey Guys, what going on?

Alicelovesshopping says: Tell Emmett no!

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Tell Alice Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Emmett no, you cannot do whatever you were going to do

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: What?! You dont even know what we were fighting about!!!!

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: So whats your point?

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Thats not fair and where the hell is Alice?

_-quiet footsteps-_

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Aww Sick! Guys thats disgusting! Your toungues wern't even in your own mouths!

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Yes but at least WE were fully dressed. Unlike you this morning... -shudders-

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: That wasn't my fault you decided to walk into the garage...

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Well I didn't expect to see you wearing nothing but an orange feather boa and a pair of rainbow toe socks!

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Now you know...not to come into any room when you hear noises

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Well next time don't make it sound like Bella tripped on something and is moaning in pain!

Alicelovesshopping says: Umm Bella hasn't been a human for years...

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Not the point...

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: well back to the point, WHY CAN'T I POUR APPLESAUCE IN EDWARD'S BED?!

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Thats what he wanted?! Why wouldn't you let him?!

Alicelovesshopping says: Because when Carlisle left he put me in charge and so I would take all the blame!

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Whats your point?

Alicelovesshopping says: -glares-

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Rrrraerrr cat fight

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: that was really stupid emmett...

Alicelovesshopping says: It was...

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Stfu

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed out_

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: Soooo.... you wanna go put applesauce in Emmett's bed?

Alicelovesshopping says: Ok!

_Alicelovesshopping has signed out_

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed out_

**xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**

**Fin. Ok so yea, completely and utterly random, there might be a few more chapters like this but i'm not sure... depending if my writers block for my other story is gone yet.**

**Thanks for reading!!!**

**p.s. I'm not demanding any reviews for this chapter but it would be nice... =]**

**-Jasper Hale is My Luver**


	10. Guess the story

**I can't believe its been so long since I last uopdated! I feel so BAD! but then again... school has been a bitch (pardon my french....why do people say that anyways?)and i've been busy with **_**stuff**_**.**

**So here's another chapter of randomness, also I will be quoting from a certain book. If you can gess what book you get a nice fresh batch of cyber cookies =D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or the **_**other book**_** or most of the quotes and sayings I use due to to fact that they are from the book that I do not know...**

**Mkay well On to the story**

_Mrs Bella Cullen has signed in_

_DarkAngel333 has signed in_

_Alicelovesshopping has signed in_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed in_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has changed their status to 'away'_

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Hey peoples!!!

Alicelovesshopping says: BELLA! I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU FOR LIKE FOREVERZ!!!!!!!!!

DarkAngel333 says: Come to think of it, I haven't seen you for a few days either Bella, where were you? Alice couldn't see you... were you with the wolves?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Nooooooooooooo

Alicelovesshopping says: then why couldn't I see you? I was like totally freaking out!!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Its the power of the book

DarkAngel333 says: what book?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: THE book

Alicelovesshopping says: Way to be specific Bella...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: The books I have been reading for the past 6 days

Alice loves shopping says: Ooooooooooooooooohhh I gets it now =D

DarkAngel333 says: I'm confused.... what book?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Geeze Edward! Your slower then a fat kid on crutches!

Alicelovesshopping says: OMG Rotflmmfao!!!

DarkAngel333 says: D= .... wait, I didn't go anywhere though

Alicelovesshopping says: She's referring to you mental abilities Edward

DarkAngel333 says: Oh...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Smart Edward Smart

DarkAngel333 says: Says the person who spent 25 minutes trying to make toast for the do-- I mean Jacob, and had to be told that is wasn't plugged in. Next time maybe you should read the instructions or something... you need to read more

Mrs Bella Cullen says: YOUR MOM NEEDS TO READ MORE

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed on_

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: OMG did I just miss a your mom joke diss thing?

DarkAngel333 says: ...

Alicelovesshopping says: um sorta...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: I need to go finish my book... its getting intense but the guy is a creeper

_Nessie has signed on_

Nessie says: Mom, I just found a book on your dresser and it sounds interesting... can I read it?

Mrs Bella Cullen says: in the top left corner is there like a girls face? with like purpleish eyes?

Nessie says: Yes.....

Mrs Bella Cullen says: -runs into other room and snatches book from Renesmee- No you certainly may not! Its not age appropriate! its g-o-t sex in it!

Nessie says: ... uhh mom? You spelled the wrong word...

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Oh crap... but anyway its not appropriate

Nessie says: and what you and dad were doing last night is?

DarkAngel333 says: oooooh SNAP!

Mrs Bella Cullen says: Uh-Buh-jbd-shh-juh I'M LEAVING

_Mrs Bella Cullen has signed out_

xXxGivemebloodxXx says: -shudders- I'm going to go attempt to bleach that nmental picture out of my mind... see you guys in the morning

_xXxGivemebloodxXx has signed out_

Nessie says: Yea... its retty late I better be going to bed... Night Dad! Night Alice!

DarkAngel333 says: Night Nessie

Alicelovesshopping says: k... Dont forget were shopping tomorrow!!! =D

Nessie says: oh... I um... wouldnt dream of it... -nervous laugh- Night!

_Nessie has signed out_

_DarkAngel333 has signed out_

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has changed their status to Online_

Alicelovesshopping says: way to leave Edward... without letting me know...

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Thats Complicated, messed up and not very pretty...

Alicelovesshopping says: Like your face...

_Alicelovesshopping has signed out_

EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest says: Aww...

_EdwardandBellasittinginatree,f-u-c...youknowtherest has signed out_

**Mkay so that was me trying to get all three quotes into this itty bitty chapteroonie... wtf I just said chapteroonie... I'm losing it**

**Anyway... so anyone know what book series that is from? huh huh do ya do ya? Most of the thigs I used were pretty exact but I may have altered them slightly.**

**I was able to write a little bit in my other story yesterday so this is helping... sorta**

**I'll update when I am in a full blown writing mood =p**

**-Jasper Hale is My Luver**


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